The Manila Times: Korina

If there were such a thing as an “it” bride (much like an “it” girl who is the social scene’s current darling), that would be Korina Sanchez. Her wedding kiss was on the front page of the major dailies and till last weekend, every possible detail that could still be discussed about her wedding was covered by lifestyle columnists who had attended the ceremony. There were even TV specials devoted to how her wedding of the year was planned out.
I won’t go into the political trappings or the blue-blooded family names made even richer by the history of its ancestry that played an equal part in this event. I won’t even go into the gossipy part about an ex-boyfriend who is now a principal sponsor and running mate (Manila cannot get any smaller than that, for sure).

There is no need to go into all the external factors that make this a much talked about wedding. I believe that Korina would have made enough news on her own.

Because even before there was a MarKorina (I guess that is supposed to be like Brangelina or something), Korina was already Korina. Even before she was Mrs. Mar Roxas, she was already Korina Sanchez—a name that was recognized as many things: respected journalist, mercilessly driven careerist, patroness of the vain. It is a name to which many a reputation precedes. But no one could say that Korina Sanchez was not intelligent, strong-willed and successful way before Mar came into her life.

And this is why I think Korina was able to do something that is quite uncommon in Philippine society today—she got married for the first time at the age of 45—an age that is considered too old for saying “I do” in this country that continues to be enraptured by “love” and “feelings” (if you think this is a hyperbole made possible by the imagination of this writer, check out local television and tell me how many soaps there are vs. comedy shows).

Just to emphasize this point further, how many other brides do you see on the cover of bridal magazines at her age?

Korina did what a lot of every other single female over 30 wants to do—rise above the usual badgering and line of fire questioning that women of that age group are often relentlessly subjected to:

“How come you don’t have a boyfriend?”

“Why aren’t you married yet?”

“Do you think you’ll still be able to have children at your age?”

Korina seemed to be beyond the usual chides of being called an “old maid” or being crossed off as being “left by the train.”

Some would say that she would probably never get married, but even that was said in a somewhat understanding way—like Korina was too preoccupied with her career and success anyway to “bother” herself with a finger that still didn’t have a ring on it. Of course, it didn’t hurt that she never seemed wanting for male attention either so she never came off as bitter.

In short, Korina’s life was full, meaningful and happy on its own. She made it more than just “okay” to be single.

Could this then be the magic formula that women have been looking for to end the questioning, theirs included, as to when and if they were ever going to get married?

I have gotten e-mail from some readers—all women—asking me why they don’t have a boyfriend yet or why they still haven’t found “the one.” Some sound panicky that at their ripe old age of 20-something or 30-something, a serious relationship continues to elude them. They would ask me for suggestions on where to go to meet men and how to feel better about being single.

Like any other responsible relationship columnist, I’d suggest things to do and places to go. I’d also suggest that they learn new skills or take up a new hobby so they don’t dwell on the fact that their declared status on their social networking site can’t even claim to be “it’s complicated.”

Though I believed 100 percent of what I was saying, I kept saying the same thing so much that my words started to sound hollow—like something you say when your friend’s boyfriend has just broken up with her. It seemed like nothing more than the perfunctory “there-there” pat on the shoulder and the “it’s okay, you’ll find someone, you’ll see.” I mean, what do you say to someone who is lamenting the fact that though she’s already in her 30s, the only aisle she’s walked down is the one at the grocery?

Now, I have a better answer. Do a “Korina.”

Make your life full and meaningful. Don’t wait for the validation of a relationship before you make something of yourself. Develop your talents and make yourself interesting and confident. Find your passion and earn the respect of others for whatever it is you’re good at doing.

You’ll feel so good about yourself that it won’t leave room for others to question why you’re (still) single.

Log-on to www.anasantoswrites.com for more singular musings.